LINDSEY accepts Bill's offer for 2nd in command.

Popular sportswriter and bon vivant Howie Lindsey has accepted the offer to run as Lt. Gov. on Bill the Goat ticket. Lindsey majestically states:

"Bill's eyes may contain freaky, retangular pupils and mine may be a captivating shade of brown, but we share a common vision. Bill and I share a goal of seeing this state cleaned up, and we'll stop at nothing to

Howie Lindsey (pictured right)
poses with a potential voter...or a statue.
These are the days that baffle mankind
and chimps.  

meet our goal. While Bill prefers to eat the refuse he comes across, I prefer to usher them back to their own message board by banning their BIG BLUE usernames. Plus, by running alongside a goat I join a long tradition of goat-runners, most-notably the Navy Midshipmen, and we all know that those guys get the job done (Osama BinDead)."

Bill's reaction was swift and positive. This release from Bill's campaign manager Tommy Boy:

"For years...the name Howie Lindsey has meant honesty, truth, and accuracy in Kentucky. In Hindu, it translates into "he who futhers the cause of cardinals" and  I have no doubt that the man would stoop to help a distressed fingerling trout in a murky stream. This is a fine day for all Kentuckians and I am unquestionably proud to have "the Howitzer" by my side."

Although reaction to the announcement of Lindsey will meet with stern disapproval in traditional "BIG BLUE" bases in the Commonwealth...Bill doesn't see that as a problem. Cahill relates:

"They're all voting for 'Little Richie" and that goober from Burkesville anyway...so it's not like we're losing anything there. Plus, they're UK fans and can't be expected to make a rational decision to begin with. Most of then couldn't spell "CAT" if you spotted them the "C" and the "A".

Campaign manager Tom Cahill had his own glowing praise for the addition of Lindsey.

"From the deep darkness of a political black hole in our state...finally, candidates have emerged that stand for something besides toasts at political fundraisers and the National Anthem. Take the four horse at Churchill in the first race, put him in the Pick 3 with the 4,5,6 in the second and take 'em all in the third. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah...Lindsey! Never since the dark days of post-Eisenhower fiscal irresponsiblity and stagnant, bloated Keynesian economic philosophy has a political move had such impact on a mostly indifferential voter base. I welcome Howie and will probably get around to meeting him before the election. Today is a great day to be a Louisvillian, a Kentuckian...even a lumberjack in a stinky backwoods Montana tittie bar...because a sturdy oak in a dilapadated forest has begun to bear leaves. Or leave bears. Whatever."
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