Bill claims..." I wasn't in Henderson on Saturday night."

CALVIN BOREL POPPED FOR DUI...BILL CLAIMS INNOCENCE.

Ace Thoroughbred jockey Calvin Borel was taken down by "the man" Saturday night near Ellis Park Racetrack while on his way back to the hotel after a night of beer and bowling.
Was in Evansville, a town that is known for pretty strict law enforcement, on Hwy 41...the swath that di-sects the city into East Side/West Side (with all the money on the East Side ).

Cops sez he was "cutting too abruptly while changing lanes." For Christ sakes, hadn't the office ever seen Borel ride? His patented "cut to the rail" maneuvers on the race track have been around for years. 

The three time Kentucky Derby Winner (Street Sense, Mine the Bird, Super Saver) was barely over the legal limit of .08 in Indiana, according to his wife and jockey agent . How many cold frosties does it take to get a wee-man like Calvin to .08? Two, maybe?

Bill the Goat, a known associate of Calvin's on the backstretch at Churchill Downs and avid bowler, denies any involvement in the activities Saturday evening that got Calvin blotto.

"Bill is currently housed in the West Wing of the Kentucky Exposition Center at the Kentucky State Fair and will be till next Sunday." press spokesman Tommy Boy related to local media outlets. "He has asked me to share his concerns and worries over the Borel arrest by stating that 'even Bill knows...too much to drink means you don't drive'. It is rumored that Bill was spotted at Executive Bowl (on the outskirts on the K.E.C.) late Saturday night..but he was dumpster-diving alone.

(In other news, Pat Valenzuela shaved all the hair off his body again to avoid DNA drug sample testing.)

CARDINAL Caravan this afternoon

Thursday Cardinal Couple

-Final Cardinal Caravan at Captain's Quarters

-Another Lindsey headed to the press table...

6 p.m. the start time for the activities at Captain's Quarters down on the Ohio River. Rick Pitino, volleyball's Anne Kordes and soccer's Karen Ferguson-Dayes the featured speakers. The Ladybirds and Louie the Cardinal Bird will be on hand as well with Al Greener's excellent UofL Pep Band. Who knows, you just might run into a couple of Lady Card hoopster as well.

Captain's Quarters is a great place to have Cardinal Caravan!

Even though CARDINAL COUPLE won't be able to attend, we've got readers there that have promised to provide us a full report later this evening. If you go, go early...it gets crowded down on the lawn.

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The Howitzer enters fatherdom...

Congratulations to Louisville/Cardinal Sports Report impresario Howie Lindsey and his wife Stasia on the birth of their first child...a nearly 9 lb. baby boy that was named Howard Lindsey IV.

As LSR head man Jack Coffee reports...Mother and child are doing fine...Dad not so well.

Nine pounds...about the weight of Sonja's bowling ball. You can probably expect this one to be running around with a notepad and tape recorder in pre-school a few years from now...getting inside scoop on lunch entree prospects, milk break trends and the latest scuttlebutt around the sandbox. Way to go, big guy!
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Who else is tired of Flo the Insurance bimbo?

FLO HAS GOTTA GO

Bill is tired of Flo invading the airwaves on television. Bill thinks that Flo needs to join a cult, strangle herself during some kind of sexual bizarro gratification act, become a Nazi or marry a millionaire.

If I knew Flo, I'd head butt her. If I ever see Flo, I'll emit a loud "NAAAAAAAAA" and aim for her genitals with my horns...because we can't have her reproducing.

If Flo was on the UofL women's basketball team, Coach Walz would pull her scholarship.

Bill thinks that they need to replace her with chimps. After all, we're all chimps of the insurance moguls anyway, so why not a little reality TV?

-Bill